Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Worries....oh so many worries...
It is amazing to me that after all this time I still find it difficult to mesh what I want for "us" into everyday life. Sometimes I wonder if anyone actually manages. Is what most people call "M/s" just mental masturbation? But then I feel deep down inside that it CAN be done. We CAN get to where we want to go, but fucking hell it's difficult. I know as a Master it's my job to make sure things run smoothly and lead us on the path, but that is rather tough to do when I have taken to worrying about EVERY LITTLE THING that happens during the day...or DOESN'T happen! What the fuck is that shit all about. If worrying accomplished anything that would be great, but all it does is make me feel like shit and be unable to make her into what I want her to be...and me into what I want me to be. For now this blog shall serve as my place to put my worries and thoughts down into written form so they get out of my head. I've heard that from novelists and such before, that they have to get their ideas on paper somehow before they will leave their head. Already I feel clearer for what I have written here. Maybe magic truly does reside in words and this will help me get where I want to go and be what I want to be.
To the future. May it be better and less crazy in bad ways than the beginning of this year.
So I suppose what sent me into this spiral of ridiculousness was a proposition. My whore decided to be just that... but not really. It was a silly misunderstanding that should have involved M/s without sex. The thing that bugged me about it is I KNOW sex would have been involved...even were it not supposed to be (which accordingly it was NOT supposed to be), but in the frame of mind the guy had her in, it most certainly would have. That really shouldn't bug me so much considering, but at the time it really did...and on some levels I suppose still does. The concept of making someone I love into a whore is kinky and sexy as fuck. The reality of her fucking someone else is a bit scary though. I think a lot of the fear has faded since the incident..which happened a few weeks ago now. I really thought after I dropped an emotional wall and figured some things out about myself that I could step more into the role I want to be in and have things work, but it seems like family and such have already caused me to back off and I do not like it at all. As I sit here and write the kids are playing around and my slavegirl is asleep. It is hard to feel like a Master when you are watching kids and there is no slave in sight..except for the needy one on the phone that really doesn't count. Maybe I need to write some erotica or something to help me figure out what the fuck I want out of everything. I really want to not feel this way. I love how I am when I have that Masterly feeling. I can do anything...be anything, and accomplish anything I want. This simpering shit I'm doing is grating on my nerves AND on my slave's. That more than anything is a great way to ruin the training I've already done on the girl. I just need to figure out how to move forward and work from there. Despite the honesty thing with her as my wife, I need to keep my emotions more hidden. If she can read me 100% and this is what she sees...of course she won't feel slavey. I need to take my dominant role again and be the assured sexy Master that she loves.
Feeling better after writing this. It will stay because I will make it. And this will be the place my emotional garbage gets dumped...instead of into the middle of us.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Back in the saddle.
It has been awhile since we posted anything here and sadly things had gotten back to old vanilla. I think it can be hard for us both to realize what the other wants, despite knowing it intellectually. I do not understand why someone would want to be degraded, debased, and owned by someone...but I do know why they would want to be the other side of that. The reverse is true for whore. Upon understanding that, progress can be made. She is back to being whore, I am back to being Master and things are well despite an even larger imposition of life upon us. I am back...and happy. -Masterback
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Looking at my Reflection
I haven't acted out my slavery in months. The organic experience of parenthood stripped us both back down to our conditioned responses. He, the doting husband and father; me, the recovering and overwhelmed new mother. Master and slave took a back seat to "can you take her for a few hours? I'm about to pass out"
My reflection is disheveled. My hair barely sees a brush, let alone shampoo. My armpits are fuzzy. My eyes more often than not hold nothing but a haunted fixation on some point in the distance, the light symbolic of sleep. Even now as I type this, tucked alone in bed, my key clicks are as soft as possible as to not wake the half asleep baby who lays in her crib, shifting in a threatening manner every few moments.
The room behind me is a suitable backdrop. Filth is caked everywhere. Dishes and trash lay untouched. An occasional bug boldly ventures forth to inspect what humans no longer appear to care for.
I want the reflection to glisten. I want happy, clean children. I want three meals a day, served neatly at a table in a clean dining room. I want the picket fence. My dream reflection is focused on giving them the television perfect childhood. Where does Master sit in this image? I don't worry about him. He's a big boy, he can pull down his own pants when he goes to the bathroom.
In order to give them the perfect childhood, they need parents with the perfect marriage. For us, the perfect marriage involves secret beatings and harsh words spoken in love and lust.
I feel like I'm sitting half in a murky puddle, looking down at this imperfect reflection, with a bright, clear vessel of water sitting just out of reach. I can just barely see the reflection of a luscious slave, surrounded by perfection and order. In order to fully see her, I would have to stand up and walk over to the vessel. I can't get up because I'm sitting in quicksand. Not enough to pull me down further, just enough to keep me locked in place.
Maybe that's why slaves need Masters.
My reflection is disheveled. My hair barely sees a brush, let alone shampoo. My armpits are fuzzy. My eyes more often than not hold nothing but a haunted fixation on some point in the distance, the light symbolic of sleep. Even now as I type this, tucked alone in bed, my key clicks are as soft as possible as to not wake the half asleep baby who lays in her crib, shifting in a threatening manner every few moments.
The room behind me is a suitable backdrop. Filth is caked everywhere. Dishes and trash lay untouched. An occasional bug boldly ventures forth to inspect what humans no longer appear to care for.
I want the reflection to glisten. I want happy, clean children. I want three meals a day, served neatly at a table in a clean dining room. I want the picket fence. My dream reflection is focused on giving them the television perfect childhood. Where does Master sit in this image? I don't worry about him. He's a big boy, he can pull down his own pants when he goes to the bathroom.
In order to give them the perfect childhood, they need parents with the perfect marriage. For us, the perfect marriage involves secret beatings and harsh words spoken in love and lust.
I feel like I'm sitting half in a murky puddle, looking down at this imperfect reflection, with a bright, clear vessel of water sitting just out of reach. I can just barely see the reflection of a luscious slave, surrounded by perfection and order. In order to fully see her, I would have to stand up and walk over to the vessel. I can't get up because I'm sitting in quicksand. Not enough to pull me down further, just enough to keep me locked in place.
Maybe that's why slaves need Masters.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Whore Commandments
1. I shall only strive to serve and worship Master.
2. I shall trust Master completely.
3. I shall not cum unless told.
4. I shall never hide my body or mind from Master.
5. I shall actively participate in my slavery, not just passively react.
6. I shall crave Master’s cum, piss, and sexual attention.
7. I shall always act and appear sexually pleasing in an appropriate way.
8. I shall quietly listen when spoken to and speak when prompted.
9. I shall wear whatever mark of ownership Master places on me.
10. I shall learn whatever skills and behaviors Master tells me to.
2. I shall trust Master completely.
3. I shall not cum unless told.
4. I shall never hide my body or mind from Master.
5. I shall actively participate in my slavery, not just passively react.
6. I shall crave Master’s cum, piss, and sexual attention.
7. I shall always act and appear sexually pleasing in an appropriate way.
8. I shall quietly listen when spoken to and speak when prompted.
9. I shall wear whatever mark of ownership Master places on me.
10. I shall learn whatever skills and behaviors Master tells me to.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Schedule
I have never been big on manipulating a slave's schedule to the umpteenth degree. I can understand why some Masters would like to do this, but I have never had the inclination or desire to do so. I have tried it a couple times in the past, but as I was far too lenient with the whore back then, it never really did any good anyhow.
I have as of today however realized that there is at least one part of her schedule that I will need to control more closely... her sleep schedule. Nothing interrupts training more completely than a slave who is too tired to move. While you can still fuck them that way, it's not near as fulfilling and they don't get half of the training worth out of it as if they were wide awake for you to torture and take your pleasure out on.
So as I sit here writing this, I am quite aware that though I may be a night owl, I need to make sure she gets to bed a lot earlier than me so she can be the little sexy slut that I'm training her to be.
-Master
I have as of today however realized that there is at least one part of her schedule that I will need to control more closely... her sleep schedule. Nothing interrupts training more completely than a slave who is too tired to move. While you can still fuck them that way, it's not near as fulfilling and they don't get half of the training worth out of it as if they were wide awake for you to torture and take your pleasure out on.
So as I sit here writing this, I am quite aware that though I may be a night owl, I need to make sure she gets to bed a lot earlier than me so she can be the little sexy slut that I'm training her to be.
-Master
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Sex...slave...?
As soon as I decided to start this blog, both whore and I started looking around at existing blogs of Masters, Mistresses, and slaves.
A lot of the blogs are hard to actually call M/s as about the only thing M/s or D/s is the fact that someone has their name capitalized. Now before everyone gets up in arms about the comment, hear me out.
Sex slaves are what?
Slaves...used for sex. Theoretically. A sex slave that is not used for sex is just a slave. A slave that wheedles out of doing some things that their owner wants is a submissive. A submissive that does nothing but sit around the house and complain that things aren't as they should be, has no real sex to speak of, and can't list out even a couple things that they will do when asked without even thinking about it, is either a wannabe whose partner is not into it or is in denial while living a vanilla relationship.
Out of all the blogs I have found recently, all the slaves are complaining about lack of sex. With no exceptions. Again, a sex slave that is not used for sex is a slave, not a sex slave. By and large most of the slaves out there would MUCH rather be sex slaves. If you own one, for the love of whatever it is that you do love, USE THEM. Use them well, use them often, and make sure they are a quivering mass of lust when you are done with them for the moment. This is what they want, it's what they need, and it's what YOU as a Master need.
Now the Masters blogs I've seen lately... have no mention of sex at all. In fact, most mention how lucky they are that their slave did this or that for them. I can practically hear the girlish squeals of glee in the posts.
If there isn't enough sex going on, take them. Are they feeling down that day? Guess what... endorphins from sex will fix that. Are YOU feeling down or tired? Same thing, same result. If you have a sex slave and you're not using them to the fullest you are wasting your time and theirs. I promise you if you just take them and fuck them however YOU want to fuck them...again...and again...and again they will not only start to crave it even more, but they will love you with a devotion that most vanilla couples could not even believe exists.
When a slave hasn't had sex in awhile, the hormone levels can die down a bit. This can mean lack of cravings (though I assure you they are still there in the background), or it could mean excuses when you try to use them. Not in the mood? That's okay, you're a slave... I'm going to use you anyways. Not feeling well? Well point whichever end of you doesn't feel good away from me, and I'll fuck the other side until you DO feel good... and you will.
Slaves, if you're not being used enough(and you KNOW if you're not), let your Master/Mistress know you need it! Don't sit there and wait for it. If there's a problem with them taking you, it's going to keep being a problem. Somehow they have to find out that it is in fact what you want. You are a slave... make sure your owner knows it. Sometimes we can forget these things as silly as it sounds. It is especially easy to if we have actually feelings for you. Help us through it, it will benefit everyone.
Now I'm going to bring this rant to a close, but please remember what I started this with.
slave used for sex = sex slave
slave used only for manual labor around the house = slave
slave used rarely for things around the house and often "doesn't feel like doing that" = submissive
submissive who never feels like doing anything except complaining = in denial or is in dire need of a new Master or Mistress. (Pay attention Masters/Mistresses if you're in this last category... be careful!)
-Master
A lot of the blogs are hard to actually call M/s as about the only thing M/s or D/s is the fact that someone has their name capitalized. Now before everyone gets up in arms about the comment, hear me out.
Sex slaves are what?
Slaves...used for sex. Theoretically. A sex slave that is not used for sex is just a slave. A slave that wheedles out of doing some things that their owner wants is a submissive. A submissive that does nothing but sit around the house and complain that things aren't as they should be, has no real sex to speak of, and can't list out even a couple things that they will do when asked without even thinking about it, is either a wannabe whose partner is not into it or is in denial while living a vanilla relationship.
Out of all the blogs I have found recently, all the slaves are complaining about lack of sex. With no exceptions. Again, a sex slave that is not used for sex is a slave, not a sex slave. By and large most of the slaves out there would MUCH rather be sex slaves. If you own one, for the love of whatever it is that you do love, USE THEM. Use them well, use them often, and make sure they are a quivering mass of lust when you are done with them for the moment. This is what they want, it's what they need, and it's what YOU as a Master need.
Now the Masters blogs I've seen lately... have no mention of sex at all. In fact, most mention how lucky they are that their slave did this or that for them. I can practically hear the girlish squeals of glee in the posts.
If there isn't enough sex going on, take them. Are they feeling down that day? Guess what... endorphins from sex will fix that. Are YOU feeling down or tired? Same thing, same result. If you have a sex slave and you're not using them to the fullest you are wasting your time and theirs. I promise you if you just take them and fuck them however YOU want to fuck them...again...and again...and again they will not only start to crave it even more, but they will love you with a devotion that most vanilla couples could not even believe exists.
When a slave hasn't had sex in awhile, the hormone levels can die down a bit. This can mean lack of cravings (though I assure you they are still there in the background), or it could mean excuses when you try to use them. Not in the mood? That's okay, you're a slave... I'm going to use you anyways. Not feeling well? Well point whichever end of you doesn't feel good away from me, and I'll fuck the other side until you DO feel good... and you will.
Slaves, if you're not being used enough(and you KNOW if you're not), let your Master/Mistress know you need it! Don't sit there and wait for it. If there's a problem with them taking you, it's going to keep being a problem. Somehow they have to find out that it is in fact what you want. You are a slave... make sure your owner knows it. Sometimes we can forget these things as silly as it sounds. It is especially easy to if we have actually feelings for you. Help us through it, it will benefit everyone.
Now I'm going to bring this rant to a close, but please remember what I started this with.
slave used for sex = sex slave
slave used only for manual labor around the house = slave
slave used rarely for things around the house and often "doesn't feel like doing that" = submissive
submissive who never feels like doing anything except complaining = in denial or is in dire need of a new Master or Mistress. (Pay attention Masters/Mistresses if you're in this last category... be careful!)
-Master
Sex Slaves are for Sex (and lots of it)
Please forgive the hostile wording of this post, but the topic gets me fired up:
Sex slaves are for sex. They are, in their toned prime, quivering and whimpering beasts that can think about nothing else besides a Master's use.
Master and I have been reading a lot of online sex slave blogs lately, trying to find some that he would like to add links to. A reoccurring theme that we've noticed on almost every single blog is the poor slave being restricted to maybe one fuck a day if she's "lucky".
I don't know if there's a genetic abnormality that causes a sex slave to need more sex than the average person, but I know from personal experience that my hormones go bitch-haywire when I'm not fucked into submission. I'm either a pain and humiliation craving whore or a full fledged nag of a wife. There is a boring in between where I maintain a happy homemaker on just a few fucks a week, but not a sexy one.
Why keep a sex slave to not have massive amounts of brutal sex with? Why does the average office worker with a four door sedan need a luscious animal penned up in his bedroom? Real men, the kind that need to brutalize and dominate a woman in every molecule of her being, are going to use a slave until she can't breathe ... and then some. It's akin to buying a multi million dollar sports car and not even parking it a garage; just leaving it in the backyard under a tree and maybe turning the engine over once a month if it's "lucky". Have you ever met someone with a border collie? Try keeping one of those and giving it a simple walk once a day, "if it's lucky".
This might be a case of "I know how life should be lived and everyone else has it wrong", but I'm firmly convinced that a Master who doesn't know and utilize the true purpose of his sex slave deserves the hormonally imbalanced bitchiness that ensues.
-Whore
Sex slaves are for sex. They are, in their toned prime, quivering and whimpering beasts that can think about nothing else besides a Master's use.
Master and I have been reading a lot of online sex slave blogs lately, trying to find some that he would like to add links to. A reoccurring theme that we've noticed on almost every single blog is the poor slave being restricted to maybe one fuck a day if she's "lucky".
I don't know if there's a genetic abnormality that causes a sex slave to need more sex than the average person, but I know from personal experience that my hormones go bitch-haywire when I'm not fucked into submission. I'm either a pain and humiliation craving whore or a full fledged nag of a wife. There is a boring in between where I maintain a happy homemaker on just a few fucks a week, but not a sexy one.
Why keep a sex slave to not have massive amounts of brutal sex with? Why does the average office worker with a four door sedan need a luscious animal penned up in his bedroom? Real men, the kind that need to brutalize and dominate a woman in every molecule of her being, are going to use a slave until she can't breathe ... and then some. It's akin to buying a multi million dollar sports car and not even parking it a garage; just leaving it in the backyard under a tree and maybe turning the engine over once a month if it's "lucky". Have you ever met someone with a border collie? Try keeping one of those and giving it a simple walk once a day, "if it's lucky".
This might be a case of "I know how life should be lived and everyone else has it wrong", but I'm firmly convinced that a Master who doesn't know and utilize the true purpose of his sex slave deserves the hormonally imbalanced bitchiness that ensues.
-Whore
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